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Transcript - Episode 35I'm Jane Messineo Lindquist. And this is a Puppy Culture potluck podcast. You bring the topics, we bring the conversation. This episode's topic is puppy meltdowns. And here's the question. My seven month old puppy just had a meltdown. I'm thinking stacked stressors. Now. How do I get him through this? Here's the situation. At our national specialty last weekend I had issues getting his nails done. It took three of us. It's never been an issue before. After that, he became leery of everyone. He showed okay on Thursday and Friday, a little unsure, but showed. On Saturday he was amazing. Went in for puppy sweeps and won best puppy. Took his class and then took winners dog. He did bark at the judge on the ramp when she first approached him, but she made friends with him. Sunday he had a complete meltdown. He did allow his teeth to be checked, but shied away on the physical exam. Wanted nothing to do with it. The judge was great. She talked with him and took the time to pet him and made it fun. But he was done. I was also under a lot of stress with some negative things going on, and I'm sure he was feeling that he has shows again in five days, and my inclination is to pull him, work with him at home, or show him a few days and let him sit out a few. Thoughts? Okay, this is me again. I do know a little bit of the history on this particular puppy, because this person has been very active in the discussion group. So I know that he's already been to five shows. She did a lot with him in the 4 to 6 program, which is a great program, and I wish more people would take advantage of it. And he did well with those other shows, but she did note there is a history of being somewhat tentative with strangers, but probably not outside of normal for his breed, and he always did seem to have good recovery. Let me open up by saying that there are some obvious, let's say, elephants in the room with this history, but I'm going to put that aside for now and answer her question directly, and then circle back to advice for best practices with puppies in these situations, because, you know, it's a very common thing that maybe we are not all perfect and we make mistakes along the way, but then we find ourselves in this position with a puppy that's had a core meltdown at a dog show or an and agility trial, or wherever it is. And the question is, do I hold or go? Do I stay at home or keep trying to work on it? And I think that's a really legitimate question. No matter what you've done, whether you've done everything right or not, whatever, you know, all the dog trainers out there are saying, you know, I wouldn't have done it that way. People are going to make mistakes. We're all going to make mistakes. So it's a really legitimate question. What do I do when I've put my puppy in over threshold? The puppies had a core meltdown. What do I do? It's a distinct question from how do I prevent it? And it really is a pet peeve of mine when someone posts and they've been in this situation, and instead of offering immediate advice for how to move forward, people are Monday night quarterbacking the history of the puppy. Not that that's not important to understand where the errors were in the process, but I think we have to be compassionate and understanding with people that it legitimately can happen to the best of us. Okay, that out of the way. My first inclination when I read this was I would take the puppy to the shows that he scheduled to go to in five days, but I would not show the puppy. I'm going to take my cues from the puppy in this case, and allow the puppy to experience this dog show environment in a way that's going to be positive for that puppy. I can't say what's positive for this particular puppy, but I can give you an example of my own puppy that I'm currently working with that is the same age as this puppy, seven months old, and also is a little prone to softness at shows. So for my puppy, she is very happy and willing to engage in the environment, wants to engage in the environment, but feels like she needs a safe place to come back to. She is very happy to sit in a chair with me ringside, I bring my own director's chair and I put a blanket down in it, so it makes kind of like a hammock thing, and she'll sit in that chair with me and watch the rings for hours. This is a perfect way for her to have a positive experience. She loves it. She's very human centric. She loves to spend time with me. This is good for her. Now, another puppy may not want to sit ringside, may just want to be in a crate. Maybe wants to move a lot of puppies like movement that makes them feel more secure. Some puppies like food. Some puppies like play. You just have to read your puppy and know that whatever you're doing is building a positive experience for him at that dog show. But there is no way that I would take a puppy like this into the ring at this point. I want to get at least 2 to 3 good experiences like this under my belt, where my puppy does not have a meltdown, where my puppy is happy at the show before I take him back into the fray of the actual show ring. Because, you know, my puppy is very happy outside the show ring to play with other puppies, to say hello to people. But the minute they go into that ring, especially if there are no other puppies, or only maybe one other puppy in the class, it's like being in a fishbowl and then a person is approaching them sort of impassive, and they don't understand why? Because they're puppies. And the only way people have ever approached them is really in a socialization setting where you're trying to form good connections. The puppy doesn't understand why the person is so impassive and ignoring them. The puppy doesn't understand that you're holding them still to be manipulated, and they're in this fishbowl without any of the social support of the other puppies. So long and short. That's what I would do. I would bring the puppy and just let the puppy have some good experiences in the context of a dog show. That's what I've been doing with my puppy. She goes to every show, every trial. We set up a chair. She sits with me. I'll even set up a crate with an open and she, I'll have her unleashed, but she'll go in and put herself into the crate when she feels it's overwhelming. I allow her to explore at her own pace, come back to home base. She's like a Roomba re docking when she gets overwhelmed and you know she's getting better. Another thing I'll say about puppies like this, or any puppy really, for that matter, is there is no bad time to pull chocks and leave. You can decide the morning that you get up that your puppy looks a little wiggy and stay home. You can decide when you take the puppy out of the car that the puppy's not quite right, and go home. You can decide when you're standing in the ring ready to go in, that all of a sudden your puppy has a core meltdown. You don't have to go in the ring. Even in the ring, the puppy can be examined and have a core meltdown, and you can say, you know what? We're going to leave. You always have to advocate for your puppy and put your puppy first. Don't worry about social conventions. Don't worry about breaking the major. If your puppy really, legitimately is in over threshold and having a core meltdown, there is never a bad time to take that puppy out of that situation. That should be your first responsibility. So that was my first impulse. Okay. This is my general advice in these situations. However, in the comments, this querant mentioned that the show she's planning on taking the puppy to is the National Dog Show, and that changed my advice from take the puppy, let them just experience it to, hard no, skip that show because the benched shows in particular are stressful because you have to get there early and stay all day. For those of you that don't know a benched show means that you are obligated to stay there. Keep your dog in the crate there all day. It's a great thing for public relations. AKC likes benched shows for public outreach. People get to see dogs. They get to see different breeds. It is a good thing, but with a puppy that you're not sure about, I would never do a benched show. Furthermore, that particular venue is one of the most challenging venues I have ever shown in. It's an indoor, enormous conference center. Everything about it, from the way you get in to the way that you get to your crating area, is challenging for dogs. The acoustics are challenging. It's super tight and crowded. There's tons of people there, a lot of spectators. It's the kind of thing that you build up to that you bring your seasoned dogs to. It's not some place you bring a puppy that's on the fence and not real sure if it likes dog shows or not. So my specific advice to her was there's another set of shows a month from now in a much quieter, smaller venue within an hour of the National Dog Show venue. And those are the shows that I would be targeting for this puppy, just to get some good experiences under his belt. Now let's talk about the history on this puppy a little bit, because I do think there are some teaching moments here. Okay, the puppy was a little tentative about people approaching him, but you know, she really did do good work with getting him out to those five shows. And he had good recovery, even if he was giving us, let's say, the memo that perhaps he could be tentative with strangers, that he's not 100% comfortable with strangers. But I still think it's a reasonable thing to take this puppy to the national specialty. But then I don't really know how it happened that the dog was having his nails done at the national specialty. Probably. She said he never had a problem before, so it didn't occur to her why not? But I definitely do not do any kind of grooming like that, like clipping of whiskers or nail trims. I don't do anything like that at a dog show. I make sure that's done at home, because even for a puppy that doesn't show any problems with it, you just it's again, like she mentioned, a stacking of stressors. There is the stress of being away from home at this dog show, and now you're doing the nails. And even if visibly the puppy is tolerating it at home, it's still a stressful thing to do. So number one, I wouldn't have done it. Number two, if the puppy really resists and I have had puppies resist things. I mean, I have had puppies that I put on the table and went to do chalk on their face and they growled at me. My response is, thank you Sir or Madam, for letting me know how you're feeling. I have never had any of those dogs go on to be a problem, but they're giving you information that whatever it is, it's too much for them. Forcing the issue of getting people to hold the dog and do the nails. It's not what I would recommend. And I think probably the parent at this point is like, yeah, maybe I wouldn't do that again. So I'm I'm not taking her to task for it, but I'm just acknowledging that when animals, especially out of character, are objecting to something, there's an underlying story. Either it's stacking of stressors that they're stressed in some way that you wouldn't have known if you hadn't then gone to do this husbandry procedure, or it could be something painful. There could be a toe, a nail, broken, or a toe hurt. But whatever it is, it's information and we need to take that information and listen to it. If you're at a dog show, that is not the time to address it, and that is not the time to get through people to hold the puppy down, to do it again. Trust me, I am not taking this woman to task for having done this because I think if we all reflect, we've all been in a similar situation where we just didn't listen to that little voice inside our head. So it's a safe space here, but we're just putting it on the table that the best practice is not to try and do major husbandry items at dog shows and listen to your puppy. If your puppy is objecting to something, deal with it at home. Don't deal with it at the dog show. Not to go too far down the rabbit hole with this, but you know there are some breeds for which heavy grooming and grooming at dog shows things like stripping. They're going to have to get used to that, but that's something that you really have to train separately, in my opinion. I don't think it's ever advisable to force it on a puppy that's having a meltdown about it, or objecting strongly to it. I just think it puts the onus on you as a breeder exhibitor to make the time to get the puppy used to having that husbandry done in public, whatever it is. But again, at that inflection point where the puppy saying no, you just have to listen to the puppy. And then there's the situation of, okay, we know the puppy has been soft in the past with people can be hesitant. Showed a little bit of that on Saturday. You know, do you show the puppy on Sunday? I mean, I can't blame her. She just got winners dog at the national specialty. I don't blame her for entering the dog the next day. The only thing I can say, and I don't know because I wasn't there, is if there were any early warning signs that this puppy was trending toward more no than yes with this situation, I know it's hard when you're on a roll and you just won winners dog at the national specialty. But again, if your dog is good enough to win winners dog at the national specialty, your dog is good enough to have a career as a show dog. And we want to think long term. So it's the hardest thing. It's one of the hardest things to do to advocate for your dog and to invest in the future of the dog by saying, you know what? This isn't right for my dog today. No matter what the upside is, this isn't right for my dog today. Everyone struggles with it, okay? Not just show people. I just had this conversation with one of my co-owners at a nose work trial. She went out for the first search. It's raining. It's windy. Her dog was miserable. But you know, the dog nailed the first search. So now it's like, well, I spent all this time and money. Do I take the dog out again and try and get the rest of the searches? But, you know, the dog, every time she took the dog out of the car was trying to run and get into other people's car because she didn't like being rained on. Even just staging, she was going to have to be out in the cold rain and she didn't like it. And my co-owner, much to her credit, said, you know what? I'm not doing this. I'm going home. I'm taking my dog home very hard to do when you've woke up at 4:00 in the morning and driven two hours. But in my opinion, the right call. I have left agility trials with the dog when I had one Q under my belt and was looking at a double Q because the air conditioning in the sports center just was not keeping up with the number of people and dogs that were in that sports center. And it was too hot for my dog. And I, I left very hard to do, but I think we just have to will ourselves out of the I could get it. I need to stay. I paid the money. I drove five hours. I got up at two in the morning. It's the fallacy of sunk costs. Don't fall prey to it. There is nothing more important than the long term career of your puppy. Just always keep that number one in your mind and let it be your compass for deciding what's right to do. If you liked this podcast, you love our show Puppy Bundles. Check them out at puppyculture.com. And while you're there, don't forget to stock up on our booklets. Our best selling puppy exercise booklet, our Be Your Puppies Advocate booklet for puppy owners, and our spay neuter booklet that will help you decide whether spaying or neutering is right for your puppy. Well, that's it for this time. Thanks for listening. Bye bye. Referenced Courses and Titles
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AuthorJane Messineo Lindquist (Killion) is the director of "Puppy Culture the Powerful First Twelve Weeks That Can Shape Your Puppies' Future" as well as the author of "When Pigs Fly: Training Success With Impossible Dogs" and founder of Madcap University. Archives
January 2026
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